It's time to reminisce the year gone by !!! Every year brings us many joys, little sorrows and more lessons... As usual, the year began with an excitement as I went back home for a vacation... It was 20 days of fun and joy.. Meeting People is always fun, esp. the close ones... I wish every year begins the same way... Well, First half of the year was about how I lived alone... It was a good experience albeit I missed my wife and son... Living alone has its share of challenges.. One, I have to cook, Two, I have to eat what i cooked :P... Not getting back to those days as I have blogged it already...
Now, coming into the second half, it was more challenging with lot to handle... Well, we tend to blame the planetary positions when there are too many challenges... so often, it was due to People around us... Nevertheless, nothing can disturb you until you react to it.. May be I reacted too much to what was happening around me...
There were disputes between me and my wife.. well, that happens every year and nothing new about it.. As usual, there was a customary Niagara trip.. and then our trip to Tulip festival... Both brought some good memories but equally some bad stuff as well... To have a dispute on a trip is the worst thing as it also ruins the trip.. We go to trip to forget our day life, but some of the days in these trips were worse than our regular days... It was just a blip but felt like penning it... And then the trip to see (feel) fall colours... It was so awesome that it made us forget all that we were longing for.. Nature is truly a best medicine... After three + years in this Country, We got to tick off couple of important things to visit...
Towards, the last quarter, Life changed professionally and personally... Stress at work because of no work... We had to scratch the surface to have survived till this day... This year ends without telling how my next year is going to be... It didn't even tell me how my next week will be... It has become tough with every passing day... Thinking of what next didn't let me enjoy what I did.. I had changed from a Person who lives every day to a Person who kept thinking about the next day.. When things don't go well, we tend to forget what we're good at.. Lost my cool... Could be because of my medical issues, this just added up...
Coming to Personal life, writing about it might hurt or make People involved feel guilty... If you think you have hurt me, Please skip this :P... Well, it is not such a serious thing.. I normally don't write about People... It's just what happened in my life and none to blame... Yeah, it's obvious sometimes People's mask fell off.. My memories and patience were put to test... Sometimes my mask fell off.. I can excuse it as an reaction but truth is we can only clap with two hands... For a relationship to break, it should be helped from both ends... I take blame for whatever mistakes i did in losing people and their (in)valuable relationship... Not to dwell too much into it, everything happens for some reason... It kind of said where I am placed in everyone's thoughts... It kind of showed me how I have been thought as a person... Everyone defines a good person in a way they think.. When we don't fit into someone's definition, we instantly become a not so good (if not bad) Person... There is no universal definition of 'good'... If someone does what we do, it is never considered a mistake... As long you are a Roman in Rome, you wouldn't be blamed... We're capable of justifying what we do... Sometimes you don't belong in a place.. I see the good in a person only as far as my eyes can reach and I make up my opinion...
Three years plus and there has been a gradual breakdown of communication... There were times when I used to talk to People twice a day, now it is not even twice a week... As we stay far way, we tend to get far away from everyone's memories... It might just take a minute to dial a number and convey regards but we are too busy... There were days when even a small cough mattered and now there are days when even serious health issues are not cared about... We care for a Person based on how much we love and respect them... A day is made up of 24 hours and People have commitments for 25 hours :P... Again, Here the issue is from both ends... It's always a thought about who makes the first call or why always me, why not them? It's like a stack.. Technically we say FIFO (First In First Out)... People have become like that... As they keep adding new People, then tend to remove the existing character from life... There are no consistent relationships... Today's Friend is tomorrow's stranger... Life of a coffee cup is only until the coffee exists... May be it's God Plan.. He can only hold so many in a stage called Life... May be my role is over or their role is over in my life... Whenever Personal relationships are strained, We just become philosophers... I personally believe, I have to treat everyone the way I treat and not based on how they treat me... If they were important yesterday, they should be important tomorrow as well.. This is a most important lesson in my life...
Coming back to professional, we applied to extend our status in this Country... Ever since I did that, there has been lot of anxiety.. We are praying that it comes our way and hopefully it does... God helps... Scratching for opportunities has been a constant worry... People around us are trying to sound positive and keep us in good spirits, we are just not there yet... I wasn't a person who always laments about my Problems but lately I have started becoming one.. I kept bemoaning about my problems and I started thinking I am the only one who has so much to deal.. Too much eh.., My wife has been a constant support... Her Prayers will work wonders... I know I am wrong in thinking too much about these little things... There are always ample number of opportunities... It's just not in my sight or within my reach... Professional Life is something where People make decisions for you... I am firm believer that our Prayers shouldn't have reasons... God knows what to do... He has his own plans and they are much better than what we plan for ourselves... We should be like a river which just flows through the plains and takes turns as it faces blockades... I just have to practise my beliefs... I started penning this so I have something to look back to if there ever is a same situation... I just have to follow my instincts... I just lost my focus towards the end of this year... Hopefully the next week or next year gives us the Positive feel..
Wrote much about problems... They are actually the lessons of this year... Next year can only be better.. It can't get worser than this... All those broken can be mended... After all if 2 People can fight, they can also love... Life is just a composition of ups and downs... Even music has its highs and lows which makes it sound sweet... Life can only be good and whatever happens, happens for good... Hopefully the next time when I come here, it will be to write about what has changed (positively)...
I wrote this so I can listen to both sides within me... These writings make me feel much better... Everyone's life has a story and a lesson to look up to.. so is mine.... Challenges of this year will be the stepping stones for next year... When life gets tough, tough gets going...
Wishing everyone a beautiful new year that can create cheerful memories... Well, Memories are something that can bring a smile or a tear... Just keep creating them and hopefully good ones... Again, a bright year to start with with so much surprises in store... Forget your pains and move on.... If you can cry, you can also smile...
Sending so much love and signing off...!
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